his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
