And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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