Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Green mimosas i think yes
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize