i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
