im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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