google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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