the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
All I want is dick and wine.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
