dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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