So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
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