All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
