something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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