week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
