Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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