Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
