That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
