Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
