matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
