Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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