So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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