I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
