ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize