just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
