is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize