did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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