PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Randomize
