her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
