i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
