The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
