I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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