I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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