Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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