Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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