Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize