we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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