just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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