Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize