Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Ketchup is God's man juice
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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