I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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