The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
What a dumb baby whore.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
