Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
