You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
