Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Sext me about skeletons
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
