I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
My dick has a subreddit
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
