i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize