everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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