TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
