Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
