i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
