He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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