and you said cock pushups were impossible
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
