what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
