Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
