Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
