her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
