Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
