Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
