i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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